It begins again, no plans not said, just the same old thoughts inside my head.
I have come to believe that there are people in this world that just don'T matter, this person is me.
I live I breath. I dont help care for look after anyone, anything but my cats.They also are trapped in my world just being. waiting for food or for me to play with them.
I work in a cage locked up for 8 hours talking to people I dont even know chit chat about the weather a pimple on their nose. Or what product will make their skin glow.
Pointless rubbish how does it help.
I shop at the weekend buy my food travel in my car around and around, always driving back to my house.
I long to share my life my woes and my self.
I have never felt so trapped in a place as LA.
I look on the map London to France your there in an hour and a half. Zoom on the train. Spain is around the corner.
What"s hear is hear what's THERE is everything wide open travel places people, many who I love. Some who I have not loved yet they are waiting for me.
The end week is here and there is just little old me.
Left again for what, not this.
Friday, February 29, 2008
Thursday, February 28, 2008
Love Lost Love Now
I read your emails, Im happy again, will we breed.
Do you still love me, I think I love you. So confused now there is two.
Your the man from the past I left you last.
The man who"s now was my past back then. Why do I just switch between you two.
Blair my bear you were always there you are back writing with out a care.
I think I love the good times we had. So confused.
You might have a girlfriend, I hope you don"t. I want you back lets have kids.
I have tried LA its lonely here I have no friends a man that just wants hole.
Just let me know I will try again.
You had such nicknames for me no one did. I have cried every night my heart is mashed.
I don'T want to think or breath. I don'T have a voice at work at play.
There"s no one around to love me today.
Blair Bear my swedish delight I cried and I cried. My heart bleeds itS WORSE now I know you are there.
Telling me there is even less hair.
September will come what happens then Lost Love or new love around I go.
Make a Swedish Baby.
Do you still love me, I think I love you. So confused now there is two.
Your the man from the past I left you last.
The man who"s now was my past back then. Why do I just switch between you two.
Blair my bear you were always there you are back writing with out a care.
I think I love the good times we had. So confused.
You might have a girlfriend, I hope you don"t. I want you back lets have kids.
I have tried LA its lonely here I have no friends a man that just wants hole.
Just let me know I will try again.
You had such nicknames for me no one did. I have cried every night my heart is mashed.
I don'T want to think or breath. I don'T have a voice at work at play.
There"s no one around to love me today.
Blair Bear my swedish delight I cried and I cried. My heart bleeds itS WORSE now I know you are there.
Telling me there is even less hair.
September will come what happens then Lost Love or new love around I go.
Make a Swedish Baby.
Thursday, February 21, 2008
Letter to Blair Bear
Just could not stop thinking about you Blair tonight.
Is it the rain that affects my brain, all the days in Scotland so unhappy and depressed.
Where you the man who I loved best.
I sent you an email its been five years, I don't understand why I did that today.
So scared you will write back all angry with me.
Say if your married your wife gets all mad.
Did I do something so very bad?
I look at your photo and think about the great times we spent together.
I think they were the best. I did not know that then.
I wanted more a big old house, money, the sun and everything else.
I did not stick with you through bad times like I said.
For better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, I just took off when we hit worse.
I was your wife I let you down, We said we would meet 2008 Brighton Pier New Years Eve.
I wish I had gone but I sat all alone.
Did you go?
Was I wrong?
I think I still love you now.
Will you come back second time round.
Wow Blair Bear with no hair.
Is it the rain that affects my brain, all the days in Scotland so unhappy and depressed.
Where you the man who I loved best.
I sent you an email its been five years, I don't understand why I did that today.
So scared you will write back all angry with me.
Say if your married your wife gets all mad.
Did I do something so very bad?
I look at your photo and think about the great times we spent together.
I think they were the best. I did not know that then.
I wanted more a big old house, money, the sun and everything else.
I did not stick with you through bad times like I said.
For better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, I just took off when we hit worse.
I was your wife I let you down, We said we would meet 2008 Brighton Pier New Years Eve.
I wish I had gone but I sat all alone.
Did you go?
Was I wrong?
I think I still love you now.
Will you come back second time round.
Wow Blair Bear with no hair.
Monday, February 18, 2008
The Weekend
The weekends gone over and done its back to the boring job all week to numb.
I tried hard to be sweet all happy today but all I got was an oil change, you had nothing to say.
I said I was sad I missed my Mum. All you cared about was eating your burger bun.
I ate fries a big burger too, but I ran El Porto. What did you do? You said you would call and lets hang out, but I don"t really want you at all.
There once was hope a baby for me you would be the Dad,I would be free. One big happy family traveling around, I look I look your not to be found.
My friends say give up your a big waste of time.
Maybe it"s just PMS I feel down today.
What makes me happy I hear you say. I don"t have any answers, just hating myself today.
I tried hard to be sweet all happy today but all I got was an oil change, you had nothing to say.
I said I was sad I missed my Mum. All you cared about was eating your burger bun.
I ate fries a big burger too, but I ran El Porto. What did you do? You said you would call and lets hang out, but I don"t really want you at all.
There once was hope a baby for me you would be the Dad,I would be free. One big happy family traveling around, I look I look your not to be found.
My friends say give up your a big waste of time.
Maybe it"s just PMS I feel down today.
What makes me happy I hear you say. I don"t have any answers, just hating myself today.
Friday, February 15, 2008
Love
We all want to be loved, to feel love, to give love.
I love to get home late and my cats just want kisses and cuddles. They stare at me taking a bath waiting for their time with me for play.
I will get them a big garden one day for them to run around little Zuma has never climbed a tree.
My faith is refreshed the house by the sea, Manhattan Beach is the place for me.
My business below my house on top everyone coming into my shop.
I"ll feed them with love hope and joy.
Love is the way I want it today.
Nice to know I have R and T so wise on my team.
Im happy for that.
I love that.
I love to get home late and my cats just want kisses and cuddles. They stare at me taking a bath waiting for their time with me for play.
I will get them a big garden one day for them to run around little Zuma has never climbed a tree.
My faith is refreshed the house by the sea, Manhattan Beach is the place for me.
My business below my house on top everyone coming into my shop.
I"ll feed them with love hope and joy.
Love is the way I want it today.
Nice to know I have R and T so wise on my team.
Im happy for that.
I love that.
Thursday, February 14, 2008
Sunday, February 10, 2008
Flew
The day flew by, everything changed. I have given up on the whole of LA.
The green green fields call my name.
Even Tim's gone home today.
Twenty years he has had enough.
We all go back where we were once from.
Sad.
The green green fields call my name.
Even Tim's gone home today.
Twenty years he has had enough.
We all go back where we were once from.
Sad.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
